In defence of Polish bread

Jaroslaw Kaczynski, leader of the crazy conservative pranksters from Law and Justice (PiS), has a dream, a very noble dream. And, no, this is not the one about water-boarding and a certain politician whose initials are D.T.

"My dream is for bread to be in Poland…," Kaczynski said during a campaign event.

Wow, I have also dreamt of bread. First, PiS and I agreed the government shouldn't leak important macro data, and now Jaroslaw "I have a dream…" Kaczynski and I have both had dreams about bread. I wonder if bread was chasing him in his dream as well, but I digress.

Because, if I can take a serious turn, Jarek, I hate to break it to you, but there is bread in Poland. Lots of it. And it's delicious.

For you to get bread, you are going to have to leave your safety zone -- no, neither the Germans nor the Russians stole the bread -- and go to these things called grocery stores. Though, yes, many of them are run by foreign companies, they sell bread. No, it is not poisoned.

What's that? When you win the October 9 elections, you are going to make sure every Pole has bread. Well, too late, they already do have bread. What? Ah, but that's true. It probably is uklad bread. I'm afraid we will have to wait till you win the elections for true "Polish" bread made in Polish bakeries with Polish ingredients and allowed to cool beneath a Polish sun.

Too bad for you, the dream of winning elections is like to take a little longer to be realised than your bread dream.