Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The numbers game

Law and Justice's (PiS) all-Sunday all-Smolensk love-in attracted 50,000-70,000 Poles screaming for the lynching of President Bronislaw Komorowski and Prime Minister Donald Tusk at the same time as they were sanctifying PiS leader Jaroslaw Kaczynski, according to co-organiser Gazeta Polska, a daily. Revolution must clearly be at hand with such a vast turnout.

I guess we should prepare for a Poland of Patriotism, Power and Paczki for everyone! Jesus will likely soon be named King of Poland and Kaczynski will be appointed King Jesus' Representative on Earth.

But, wait, what's this? The police say there's no way that many people showed up. They say the real figure is 10 times lower. Boooo. Hissss. This must be just another example of the Civic Platform-obsessed media and their jackboots in the police trying to downplay PiS's broad massive support. How do you count how many people show up anyway? Isn't it all subjective?

It turns out the sneaky police have insidious ways to try to undermine PiS's attestations it is backed by what I like to call the noisy, annoying minority: math, the devil's instrument if there ever was one.

Police deviously note 3,500 were in or near a hall where King Jesus' Representative on Earth spoke and another 2,500 were nearby. They add that 10,000 people can fit in Warsaw's Plac Zamkowy and at the high point of the Smolensk Festival 2011 it was only about two-thirds full, suggesting around 6,666…my god, this really is the devil's work.

In the end, it doesn't actually matter how many people attended the Sunday fun. The main thing is it had little to do with commemorating the victims of the plane crash and was a lot more like a witch hunt crossed with a religious retreat masked as a pensioners' rave hiding the fact it was all devised by political activists from PiS.

You see, the Smolensk crash has been completely co-opted by PiS, even though Poles of all political stripes died in the crash. It is thus now PiS political weapon No. 3 (No. 1 being Germany is the problem, No. 2 being Russia is the problem). And Jaroslaw Kaczynski will surely brandish this weapon in the October elections. It is likely to prove very effective as a rallying cry for the converted. But Jaroslaw's -- and PiS's -- problem will remain: it will alienate everyone else.

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